~

"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature."
Jane Austen

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Aatmiyoswajon - The True Relations

Aatmyioswajon - A beautiful play that Ma and I watched yesterday.. Ma has not gone anywhere over the last 14 months except to hospitals, doctor visits, funeral of her dearest sister, or that shraddh ceremony.. Her life revolves around Baba's nurses, his diet, his Ryle's tube feeding, his catheter.. her pleasures these days are a few words from Baba or Baba orally having a little bit to eat..
My friend Sujoy Prasad Chatterjee has been staging this play over the last year or so, maybe just after the period when Baba fell sick.. So we did not have the fortune of watching this play.. together..
This time, when I heard that Aatmiyoswajon was about to be staged at the Academy of Fine Arts, I had an urge of watching it and taking Ma with me.. She needs to live.. We all need to live.. so that we can look after Baba untiringly.. so that we can handle the depressing situations without getting frustrated..
I am thankful that I chose to go.. Firstly because, it is a touching play that moves us from the very core.. Wonderful performances from Dolly Basu, Saumya Sengupta, and Sujoy.. overall a lovable production..
It is about those people who are not our blood-relations.. not our sons, or brothers, not our daughters or sisters.. It is about those people who care for us and love us despite not being genetically connected to us.. The driver who comes on a day when the city is standstill due to storm and rain that stops the son from visiting the mother.. The driver who brings hot jalebis for "Madam" on a day like that.. the driver who empathizes with "Madam" more than his son can imagine to do.. The way the Madam, outwardly very strict, teaches the driver to read, with affection..The way the driver pats Madam's head softly when she gets her first attack of dementia.. The way the driver does not forget to bring Bijoya-r Mishti to Madam when she is in asylum, while the son is busy in doing the important job of clearing the bills..
More than once, my throat ached as I was reminded again and again of what Sejomasi's caregivers in the old-age home told us after her death.. She had asked for laau-chingri and some other kind of fish.. and they had kindly brought that for her from their home.. they, the Aatmiyoswajon, the real ones, when we the fake blood-related ones were busy with our own lives, some tired after taking care of her for three weeks, and some doing our duty by just buying her bread and milk.. I, myself, know the value of Aatmiyoswajon because I, fortunately have a few, some who love me despite never having a blood or legal relation and some who .. well ...
We could not meet you Sujoy last evening, as it was quite late and Ma had to return far off.. She asked me to convey her love.. Bear Hugs to you.. and very very special and warm regards to Dolly Basu and Saumya Sengupta.. I will never be able to imagine that "Laalu" and his "Madam" are fictional.. they entered my heart, forever.. their expressions and appearances etched in my soul.. It will be incomplete if I do not mention the sound designer who created such apt sounds of the car being driven, and the other sounds needed for the ambiance. 
— at Academy of Fine Arts.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1611045839113035&set=a.1416575611893393.1073741827.100006229027823&type=1&theater

Friday, June 12, 2015

Just A Date

Just a Date

August 6, 2014

Overcast Sky.
August Morning.
Constant Breeze,
with a downpour-
Flight to board
to meet his kin.
August 6, 2011.
Reached.
Met.
Smiles galore.
Relief.
Blessings for a knot to be tied.
Dreams to come true. Finally.

An yellow Envelope.
The address of my lawyer.
The address of his lawyer.
Sheets of typed paper.
I hold them.
August 6, 2014.
I get to see the papers. 
The knot is untied.
Torn, so to say.
I read those words.
Those words.
They will sink in, someday.
Someday. Finally. 

Aparajita Tumi - June 10, 2015

AN intriguing movie that I had the fortune of at last watching yesterday!! Loved the actors (somehow only Prosenjit Chatterjee was a misfit) and actresses! Such ease, elegance, and elan with which they ruled the scenes.. I had no idea that it was directed by ANiruddha Roychoudhury, but then I began to sense it, having watched Antaheen just an hour back.. After almost a day and almost no sleep, I am unable to get over the movie.. These two new actresses are so so good! and Indranil Sengupta again! Just when I was cherishing the beautiful songs of Antaheen and feeling thankful for Shantanu Moitra and Anindya and Chandril, I was again treated by this deluge of lyrical music that Aparajita Tumi offers through this trio and through singers like Rupankar!
My family had watched this movie in Jan 2012 in the theater, celebrating my parents' anniv, when I was not here.. Last night, I watched it alone, with nobody around, till 2-40 am.. It was as if a whole circle became complete! Thanks Zee Bangla Cinema!

Antaheen Apekkha - Endless Wait

He has not touched his movie player and his DVD-VCD cabinet for more than 13 months now! Baba, an avid movie-watcher, would at times drive us crazy by not being able to control the surround-sound volume levels and by watching Yes, Prime Minister or Titli (although my favorite, but you cannot watch it on a Monday and again on a Friday, can you? :P) again and again!
In the topsy-turvy of the last one year, the home theater had also got disconnected somehow and never has the situation allowed me to relax enough to touch the home movie corner.
Last night, when I had no work and the TV failed to offer anything interesting, I opened the DVD cabinet. Yeah, it required a bit of dusting, most of which still remains to be done. The remote had slipped and fallen somewhere and I had to spend 20 minutes just finding it! The categories in which Baba kept his movies- Satyajit Ray shelf, Rituparno shelf, and so on, had gotten jumbled up.. I tried to put things into their respective places. Then I chose Antaheen and Khela.
Antaheen is a movie that Baba loves! I have seen him watching the movie many a time, always getting emotional in the end. I have never watched the entire film at one go -- only caught bits and pieces while Baba watched! Yesterday, I thought of watching Antaheen, almost in a quest to understand why my father loved it so much!
From the earlier glimpses, I had the idea that Aparna Sen and Kalyan Ray play an estranged couple who still care for each other deeply. I was a different "I" then. I am a different "I" now. The way I understood each little nuance of their estrangement and love, yesterday, was like never before. I know what it is to be like that, now. To be not-together, but, .. a million things that still keep you together! Beautiful acting by Radhika Apte and Rahul Bose, Kalyan Ray and Aparna Sen, Saswati Guhathakurta and Sharmila Tagore, and Meeta VashishTh, make this movie so brilliant! And the pain that engulfs the heart at the end is so addictive! Shantanu Moitra , Anindya, Chandril make the songs a pleasure and a salute to the cinematographer too. As the movie ended, I remembered Baba saying " O bujhte pere gechhilo thik sedin i" referring to Vrinda recognizing Aveek to be the Boy in the Box, "kintu o bujhlo por e" referring to Aveek understanding it only after Vrinda's death!
Yes, Baba, you were right. I missed you while watching the movie last night, as the surround sound vibrated the windows and I remembered how we used to get angry with you. Thank You Baba, for gifting us a huge Movie Collection, and a vast Music CD library! I still hope you will get well, and we will again watch movies together, just as I told you today! I am waiting to watch Sonar Kella with you, again!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Open Tee Bioscope - বন্ধু চল্‌ !

আমাদের যাদের সত্তরের শেষের দিকে জন্ম তাদের বেশ কয়েকটা দশক জুড়ে ছোটবেলা, এবং তারপর কিশোরবেলা।। ৮০-র পুরোটা, আর ৯০-র মাঝামাঝি অব্দি, তার একটা কারণ আমরা ছোট ছিলাম বেশ অনেকদিন, এখনকার মতো খুব তাড়াতাড়ি বড়ো হয়ে উঠিনি! সেই অনেকগুলো দশক জুড়ে আমাদের সেই ছোটবেলাটার এবং আরও অনেকের বেশ কয়েকটা ছেলেবেলা জুড়ে Opentee Bioscope ... হ্যাঁ, গণেশ যখন দুধ খেলেন, বা সূর্যগ্রহণ যখন হীরের আংটি তৈরি করল, তখন আমরা বড় হয়ে গেছি, কিন্তু যারা তখন ছোট তাদেরও ছোটবেলা আষ্টেপৃষ্ঠে জড়িয়ে ধরে Opentee Bioscope.. নাঃ, উত্তর কলকাতায় বড় হইনি, কিন্তু দক্ষিণের যে পাড়ায় বড় হয়েছি সেখানে ঝাঁচক্‌চকে আত্মকেন্দ্রিক ফ্ল্যাটবাড়ী কালচার ছিলনা।। পাশে একটা বস্তি আর পার্টি অফিস থাকার দরুণ নিত্য দেওয়াল-লিখন, পার্টির মিছিল, মাইক, নানান উদ্ভট উৎসব লেগে থাকত, আরও লেগে থাকত অনেক কিছু যা আজ অনেকদিন পর ছবিতে দেখে মনে পড়ল, দেওয়ালে ঘুঁটে দেওয়া - এখন বস্তিরও ঘরে ঘরে গ্যাস, তাই দেওয়ালে সারসার ঘুঁটের দৃশ্য আর দেখিনা, দেখিনা বহুরূপী, বুড়ির চুল, শুনিনা জিভছোলার আওয়াজ। আমাদের একটা পাড়া ছিল। পাড়ার বন্ধু ছিল, নিত্য খেলা ছিল, বাল্যপ্রেম ছিল, লুকিয়ে চিঠি ছিল, ভাব ছিল, রাগ ছিল -- ছোটবেলার আর বড় হয়ে ওঠার সাথে অঙ্গাঙ্গী ভাবে জড়িয়ে ছিল পাড়ার সেই বন্ধুরা যাদের সাথে বিকেলের খেলা, জন্মদিনের সন্ধে, দোল, রবীন্দ্রজয়ন্তী, নাটক, বড় হওয়ার মানে বোঝা, ঠিক যেমন জড়িয়ে ছিল টিভি এন্টেনা, তাতে ছেঁড়া ঘুড়ি, ভাড়া করা সাইকেল, আবুলিশ। অনেক কিছু মনে পড়ায়, অনেক কিছু ফিরিয়ে দেয়, অনেক কিছু ফিরে দেখায় Opentee Bioscope ..যার সাথে প্রথম চুরমুর খাওয়া, যার কাছ থেকে বড়দের গোপন তথ্যগুলি সংগ্রহ মনে পড়ায় জীবনের সেই পর্‍যায়ে সেই বন্ধুর কথা।। নির্দেশক অনিদ্য চট্টোপাধ্যায়ের প্রতি কৃতজ্ঞতায় মন ভরে ওঠে। ঋদ্ধি সেন গোটা ছবি জুড়ে থাকতে থাকতে মন জুড়ে জায়গা করে নেয়। এই ছবিতে তিন অভিনেতার তিন পুত্রের অভিনয় মন কেড়ে নেয়, কৌশিকের পুত্র ঋদ্ধি (কহানীর পল্টু), শিলাজিতের পুত্র ধী, এবং শান্তিলালের ছেলে ঋতব্রত (কহানীর running hot water) আগামী বছরগুলিতে বাংলা ছবির পর্দায় যে বারংবার দৃশ্যমান হবে, তা নিয়ে কোনও সংশয় থাকে না। বিশেষ করে ঋদ্ধি (সাউথ পয়েন্টের ক্লাস ১১-র ছাত্র) বারবার মনে পড়ান যে তার অস্থি-মজ্জায় অভিনয়।
এই ছবি ভর্তি কোলাজ, ছোটবেলার টুকরো টুকরো ছবি জুড়ে জুড়ে বানানো। গানের কথায়-সুরে সেই সময়কারই মায়াবী ছোঁয়া। মনোগ্রাহী কাহিনী এবং টানটান ঘটনা পরম্পরা একমুহূর্ত ক্লান্ত করেনা। সুদীপ্তা চক্রবর্তী, রজতাভ দত্ত, কৌশিক সেন চমৎকার। একটি কিশোরের মায়ের ভূমিকায় সুদীপ্তার স্বাচ্ছন্দ্য মুগ্ধ করে। খুঁত আছে, কিন্তু এই ছবির খুঁত ধরতে মন চায়না। কত খুঁত নিয়েই তো ছোটবেলা!
এই ছবিটা যেমন মন ভালো করে, তেমনই, মন খারাপ ... খালি ঐদিনগুলোর কথা মনে পড়ে ।। সেই মুখগুলো, সেই আমিটা, সেই আমরা সব-আ-ই ! ব্যাকগ্রাউন্ড থেকে ভেসে আসা সেই আমাদের দূরদর্শনের "মিলে সুর মেরা তুমহারা...", সেই ক্যাডবেরির বিজ্ঞাপনের নাচ, সেই ... আরও ক-ত কী!

অনিন্দ্যর প্রথম ছবি বুধবার বিকেলেও (৪-৩০ র শো) প্রায় হাউসফুল -- ছোটবেলার টান যে বড় অমোঘ, তা আরও একবার দেখাচ্ছে Opentee Bioscope! (যাদের নিয়ে একসাথে এই ছবিটা দেখতে পেলে বড় ভালো লাগত সেই পুপা, তিতলী, বাপুজী, ছোটবুড়ো, পিকলুদাদা, পিয়াল, জয়, কোয়েল, সোনু...  তাদের সবার কথা মনে করে...)

Saturday, August 9, 2014

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY, my Dearest House - বাড়ির জন্মদিন, ৩০তম

My father had built this house from scratch. There used to be a pond here.. that was turned into a plot of land by filling it up with soil, mud, rubble, rubbish, etc. Baba bought this land that was less than 1.5 Kottahs in area. Then he designed this house (one of the most brilliant designs I have ever seen, the design that makes this little bit of land look so spacious, the large glass windows that flood the house with sunlight and air, the three attached toilets with three bedrooms) and got the plan sanctioned. Then started the actual part, the building of the house. He had stood  with the masons and other workers day in and day out, overseeing the construction of his own house. He used to have an umbrella to brave the scorching sun or the torrential rain. He used to spend hours on the building site, after his office and on weekends. He had also spent a couple of nights here when the construction got halted for some time due to shortage of funds. He was building this house with the help of a loan that he had taken from his employer (Yes, he was an employee at an architectural firm at that time). He, being an architect, has designed countless houses, buildings, townships, and hospitals throughout his entire life. But, this was his own house he was building. I was a 5.5yr -or 6 yr-old when this whole process had started. And I remember every bit of the excitement that I had experienced from the very beginning of the entire process. Our first trip from Dhakuria to this locality to have a look at the land, me overhearing and understanding that the land is being bought for a house would be built where we would be living, the "Bhitpuja" where tiny fragments of gold and silver had to be planted into the soil, people in this locality who helped Baba with everything he needed, the electrical fittings, tiles, and other toilet fittings that Baba had purchased with utmost love, storing of those things for months in our Dhakuria house, our occasional visits to the building site and my amazement at witnessing mortar getting spread between bricks, walls getting erected, tiles getting pasted on walls with two types of glue, stairs being made, the terrace being washed, and a lot lot more. Finally, the smell of plaster of paris, and new paint. Finally, the house was complete. Just when the house was complete, and the Grihapravesh or Housewarming date was approaching, Baba fell sick with a severe attack of Bacillary Dysentery. Thankfully, nothing had to be postponed, and the Grihapravesh took place on the day that had been chosen by the priest, that was August 8, 1984. Baba somehow managed. Everything that happened and every people that accompanied my family in the Grihapravesh preparations from the day before to the day of the function remain vivid in my mind. Sejomasi, and Fu-Thamma were two of them. Khukupisi had come, I remember. And ChhotobuRo sat on the step of the balcony with almost his entire body hanging out. And Ma had walked around the house with the slippery "LyaTa" fish in one hand and a vessel full of water on her head. And a bowl of milk was made to boil in my room which was then "our" room to be shared by me and Buro. The cooks had prepared a wonderful fish curry with cauliflowers, the taste of which I still remember. It still remains the best fish curry I have ever had in my life. Baba and Ma needed to spend three nights at this house according to the rituals. As the furniture had not yet been brought in from our previous residence (the rented house at Dhakuria where Sri Purna Das Baul was our landlord), a folding bed was purchased. I remember, there was a power cut when Thamma, me and Buro were leaving for Dhakuria with other relatives.  We shifted with our furniture, luggage, and all belongings on 14th August, 1984, six days after the Grihapravesh.

But, Baba somehow always wanted to mark and celebrate the day of August 8 as the Birthday of the House "13C, Jagannath Ghosh Road". The 7-yr-old me and the 5-yr-old BuRo had taken to this idea with all our enthusiasm and excitement. Never did the idea of Birthday of a House felt absurd to us. We were very serious about it and always remembered it, no matter what. Baba used to bring a cake and we used to light the exact number of candles as the house completed its 1st, 2nd, 3rd years and so on. Thamma used to share our excitement with her lively character. There were years when Baba had even taken us out to dinner or had brought dinner home to celebrate "BaRir Janmodin". Yes, that is what he called it and that is what we called it. I do not know if Joya didi remembers that on the August 8th of 1986 she and Mago and Jethu were here and we had cut a cake on our dining table and Jethu had taken pictures which we still have (there was a power cut that evening). 

This House, 13C Jagannath Ghosh Road, completes its 30th year today. Today, August 8, 2014, marks the 30th Birthday of this beloved house of mine, the house that was built with my father's sweat and toil, the house that was made into a home by my mother, the house that had my Thamma, the house that stands witness to ups, downs, journeys, successes, failures, losses, joys, sorrows, reliefs, apprehensions, adda-s, celebrations, reunions, togetherness, surprises, disappointments, smiles, tears, visits, homecomings, goodbyes, sicknesses, recoveries, and what not. 

Nobody except me stays in this house right now. Seldom does anybody visit. I do not know whether anybody even remembered that today was 8th of August, or today was the 30th 8th of August. I remembered it since yesterday morning and, realizing the special milestone, had wanted to call every member of this house to visit it once, today at least. But, then, I knew Baba can't come, so can't Ma, and the others might not find time, and Jethu's heart would only be heavy if he could not come to keep my invitation. Thus, I took the easy way out and took some sweets for everybody. Just as I mentioned the date to Baba, he nodded and said he remembered. As I mentioned that today his house completes 30 years of its existence, he said "We must celebrate today.. We must enjoy ourselves". I said, "How can you celebrate our house's birthday here at a different place keeping the house empty and deserted". He kept thinking. 

I dont remember since when the cake-cutting on 8th August had stopped. Maybe, it stopped when Buro had left for Aurangabad.. or maybe even earlier. I could not arrange a lavish cake today. Neither could I bring Baba Ma Buro Sayari Jethu and everybody to the house today. Neither could I make any decoration or adornment. But, I am glad that I could celebrate with rasogollas. I am happy that I remembered. I am elated that Baba had half a Rasogolla knowing that it was a celebration of the 30th year-completion of the house he had made from scratch. I am proud that I love this house. I am blessed to have it as my shelter.

Happy Birthday, my Dearest House, 13C Jagannath Ghosh Road! Happy 30th Birthday, my abode! May there be many many many happy returns! 

~ Me, the one who always comes back to you. Love you. 

Friday, August 8, 2014

December, 2009.

Well, a Lonazep each on Friday night and Tuesday night ..and the sleep pattern has improved .. Touchwood! Touch-pillow!! :)

The first night of uninterrupted sleep gifted me a beautifully peaceful dream. The dream gave me a feeling of serene tranquility - something that I have not experienced in quite some time.
I saw TC visit my house and meet my bro and sis-in-law. I have no idea when was the last time that I had dreamed of him!! The reason behind the dream (as much as I can guess) was the fact that Apala's mom was suffering from Purpura and I was flooded by memories of 2000 January. I even thought of sending a text to TC and inquire about "didi's health ( yeah, we do exchange the odd sms now, after the call that he gave me after the pujas) which I did not end up doing eventually. Maybe, that stayed on with me and I had this dream! Well, let me go on with the dream!  I saw TC exchanging mobile numbers with my bro and sis-in-law. Then we (me and TC that is) moved towards an open window through which a soft sunbeam was trickling in and I told him, "So.. now at least you will be informed if and when I am no more." He did not reply. He hugged me and hid his face. Well, that was the most peaceful moment that I have experienced in recent times. I can feel the peace and purity of that moment as I pen this down or whenever I recall the dream, for that matter.